Peaces of Me.

Lately I have been giving a lot of thought to my level of satisfaction in my life. In case you can't tell from my blog a few days ago, I have a LOT going on in the upcoming months. I've been crazy busy, and I have a lot of pretty amazing opportunities coming up. And it got me to thinking about when in my life I have been my happiest. Strangely enough it has always been when I have been fresh out of a relationship and therefore trying to keep myself really busy. I always seem to do a lot of fun things when I am single, mainly due to the fact that I can more or less come and go as I please. But looking at those times, I also remember feeling something missing. Which, to me, is sort of weird. When I am my happiest, I am also somehow sad. Why was that? What was I missing?

Today I finally put my finger on it. Peace of mind. I have been my absolute most giddy, happy, joyful self. But I didn't really have peace during those times. And I think that is to be expected to some extent. I was lonely, and a part of me that was once occupied was now vacant. I think that's acceptable to feel a little bit empty. Now this led me to thinking about what it would take to fill that vacancy with peace. What does it take to become a "peaceful person?" I looked at each person that I associate with. Which people, did I feel, were truly at peace with their lives? And what were they doing to maintain that? In looking at these people, I couldn't help but notice a few things. A- That many of the people I know are HAPPY- not peaceful. And B- How few people I know that I would venture to say are truly at peace in their lives. I think it's easy to exude happiness- but to be peaceful, you have to really feel it.


So next I looked at the peaceful people that I know. What were they doing? What drove them to a place of serenity in their lives? Were they all people with successful jobs? Or marriages? Or families? Were they people who had travelled the world? Or settled down and owned a home??


I'd say about 5% of the people I know are genuinely at peace. And where they are in their lives are all totally different. Some are world travellers. Some are settled down with families and happy marriages. But not every world traveller is at peace. And not every person with a spouse or kids is at peace. So what is it? What's the formula?


I read something the other day that I found interesting. It said, more or less, that we are ALL the same. The exact same. We each have hardships. We each have blessings. We each have trials. The difference between happy and unhappy people (or in this case, I think peaceful and unpeaceful people) is how we react to the things in our lives. Two people can be given a series of trials in their lives. One can be grateful for the challenges, and strive for success. The second can become overwhelmed and falter. And THAT is the difference between peace and unrest. It's what you do with the life set out before you. It's internal. It isn't about someone or some thing else being there for you, it's about what you can become in your own being. And I guess when you can realize that, and hold pride in it, you can settle into who YOU are. And I think that once you like who you are, you can find peace. And you know that you aren't perfect. Sometimes you get mad- which isn't very peaceful at all. But you shorten the time spent upset, and lengthen the time that you are filled with joy.

Lately I have been so preoccupied with staying busy, which is great. Going on trips and hanging out with friends. But I think it's important to be with myself too. To just be still, and listen to the world happening all around me. To enjoy the present in order to make my peace with my life. I can be busy tomorrow. And I will be. But in order to be more connected with who I am and the peace that resides within me, I should enjoy this moment a bit more. In Me, and not looking outwardly for approval. Simply serene and at one with myself.

Greyson.

Okay so I have a confession to make. I don't like Justin Bieber. I don't think he's all that everyone is saying. I'm just not on the Biebs Bandwagon. However- I want you to meet Greyson Chance. I'm not kidding or even close to exaggerating when I say that I cry every single time I watch this video. The kid is just SO talented it's sick. If you haven't seen this, watch for yourself:



Right?? I've been waiting for him to make something new, and I finally found this today. I am not a huge fan of the video, but for a 12 year old kid I think the song is actually pretty good. And as always, his voice is amazing.

2011.

Two posts in one day? Yes. Because I just bought my ticket to Europe for this May. And I realized that the next few months of my life are going to look something like this:

Gifts.

Last night I was reading my Daily Om and happened on something that I found to be a very fascinating point. It was essentially saying that it is beneficial for people to share their unique gifts with the world. Now I know that this seems like a kind of "duh" thing to discuss, but it occurred to me that we all have a plethora of gifts to share with the people around us. And how many of us are (A) Aware what they all are and (B) actually sharing them?


I think that sometimes it becomes awkward for us to decide on what our unique gifts really ARE, because in some way it makes us a bit arrogant. But it isn't arrogant to admit to something that has been bestowed on you. You were given these gifts by a higher power, and it is now your duty to give these gifts to the World. Use it. Share it. Give it away.


By utilizing your unique gifts, you are not only helping the people in your life, but you are helping yourself. In sharing this part of you, you are learning that you are useful. That you are a part of the greater good. Your self-esteem will rise and your gifts will improve upon their use. I suggest making a list of your talents. Even the ones that you find silly. Now go through and see where you can use them. Who can you share these gifts with? Make a goal to share at least one of your gifts with someone this week. Are you good at numbers? Help your nephew with his math homework. Are you a good listener? Be a sounding board for your best friend. Embrace the unique qualities that make you YOU, and give of them to the world around you.

Things that bring joy to my life.

Beautiful covers of songs I know
Slip on shoes
NO shoes
The juice at the bottom of a Snow Cone
Tree houses
Wilderness
Foodie blogs
Buddhist wisdom
Home design
Musky old books
Vegetarian meals
The smell of the Ocean
Charitable causes
Aqua
Inspirational goal-making
Delicate accessorizing
Banjos
Getting dirty
Cleaning up
Thick-rimmed glasses
Vegetable gardens
Impulsive travel
Driftwood
The look of the sky on an overcast morning
Awareness & Enlightenment
Reading nooks
Gnarled and interesting trees
Candle-lit baths
Ancient architecture
Fancy cheese platters
Wire birdhouses
Spicy chocolate
Chamomile Tea with Agave
Fireplaces
Spooning
Thermal pants
Comic-based movies
Candle-lit picnic table dinners
Campfires and warm blankets
Soft flowy fabric on the skin
Pale shades of peach
Interesting kitchen spices and sauces
Pineapples
The feel of hair after a fresh cut
Mason jars
Solo dance parties
Yoga and stretching
Passion in beliefs
Moustaches
Hammocks
Ocean-side pools
Navy-colored glass
Laughing so hard you cry
Beautiful foreign films
The warm sun on my shoulders and back
Frozen yogurt with fruit and sweet granola
Big cushy arm chairs
Moments where you look around and realize how much you are head over heals, absolutely in love with your life.

Life Cleanse.

A few months ago I did a diet-cleanse. I'd heard a lot about them and thought to myself, "it's worth a shot." I didn't do it to lose weight, but to feel better. It took me two weeks, and I was pleasantly surprised with the results. I felt better. Lighter. Happier.

It has come to my attention that it is important to "cleanse" one's self every so often. I think we get caught up in the junk of the world that we forget what it's like to really feel Good again. In case I'm not being direct enough I'm saying that it may be wise to invest yourself in a life cleanse. Get all of the toxicity out of your life. I try to do it every so often and lately I've been leading up to it but not really completing it as well as I have in the past. There are things in my life that I need to get out of my system. People, behaviors, and attitudes. And I guess that's why my posts lately have been more introspective. I'm starting my emotional cleanse. It isn't your diet that you change, but your lifestyle. And it doesn't have to be forever, but I think it's important to sit with yourself for a while. And only surround yourself with positive outside factors that will push you towards your goal of a healthy soul. Uplifting music, positive people, and good old fashioned fun should be your daily dose to clear out all the negativity in your life. Change your thought process to positive thoughts. And realize that there are certain people and behaviors in your life that you need a break from, possibly permanently. If something is dragging you down, making you sad, or clouding your mind- it needs to stop. End of story. Get a mantra. Get outside. Veg out with your favorite movies and a bag of popcorn. Turn off your phone. Sit in a clean space in your warmest fuzziest socks and some hot tea. Do whatever it takes to get yourself calm, collected, and at peace. Just BE. And be okay with it. Be a bit selfish for a minute and just enjoy some well-earned joy. And when you're done, you will be better off for it. I promise.

New Days.

Today I woke up feeling a little bit sad again. I don't know what the deal is, maybe I am still drained. I feel like some of my choices lately haven't been my best. And that's always upsetting. I had some goals that I meant to accomplish this month and I haven't been working on them at all. And I've noticed a certain arrogance about me lately that makes me feel sort of ugly inside. This is not the person I want to be. Not at all. So I want to go over a few things here. And hopefully it will help me collect my thoughts and therein- myself.
First of all, I want to address forgiveness. In the past few weeks I have noticed a pattern of me not being very forgiving of people. Not in personal offenses, but more of me not being very empathetic to them. There are certain people in my life who I have been very judgemental of, and it needs to stop. I think that in my mission towards enlightening my own life, I have started to forget that we are ALL imperfect. I know that I certainly am. I caught myself today realizing this and when someone I worked with had messed up, I saw two directions I could take. I could stay in my routine of saying "ugh, what an IDIOT. So-and-so really needs to get it together." OR, I could stop and realize that this person is probably having a rough day. And I should empathize with that. What would you call that? The Angel's Advocate? I'm not sure.
And while I'm at that one, I really need to go easier on myself too. I say and do stupid things ALL the time. And I fall short of my goals. And I make all manner of mistakes in general. And honestly, that's okay. I am imperfect. But the best part of messing up is that in an instant- it can be yesterday's news. We as humans have the ability to take our bad choices and completely drop them instantly. Oh sure, we want to save face about it. And if and when those things have become public, it's easy to wallow in our embarrassment. But the way I see it, why sit in your mistakes? No one else is nearly as focused on YOU as you probably are. You'd be surprised how little everyone is watching you, honestly. I know that may be harsh because our egos want us to believe that everybody is secretly focused on our little lives, but they are all much too busy with their own mistakes to bother themselves with yours. I promise. So I think it's important to forgive yourself for your screw ups. Even to let yourself know, "Hey, you're having a tough time. I understand. Lets just do better tomorrow, okay?"
So speaking of messing up, my February goals have been a pretty big fail for me. And I was kind of beating myself up about it. But you know, maybe I'm just not ready for them yet. I did yoga a little bit, and Id like to continue to work on that one. But I haven't done it 3 times per week for sure. And I have only written in my journal like twice. The other stuff I'm doing okay on, but not as well as Id like. So rather than be upset about my failures, I think I'm just going to readjust my sails. It's a little over halfway through the month, but since I accomplished about half of my goals, I'll take that. I'm going to edit my yoga goal. Do MORE yoga, but focus on stretching and meditation. I can do more stretching every day. Even at work. And I need to focus inward a bit more, hence the meditation. I'm going to eat MORE veggies, but not give myself a set number per day. That's not practical. I do alright on my vegetable intake as it is. As for the journal thing, I'm taking it off the list. I write plenty on here anyways. Instead- I'm adding a new goal. Kindness. And empathy. Id like to do a service act at some point this month, and so far I'm already offering free babysitting to my brother and his wife so they can go out on a date. I'm looking into food shelters and beach cleanups. I miss my beach cleanups. A really great site for ideas can be found here, if you're interested: http://www.randomactsofkindness.org/Kindness-Ideas.html. And I need to work on doing little things, every day, to show compassion for the people around me. I need to shake off the things that bother me about people and stop being so judgemental. In other news I AM going to San Fransisco next weekend, so that goal is a go. As for the water, juice, and tea... I'm doing good there. I think I'm going to eliminate sodas from my diet this next few weeks. They're unnecessary. I need to fill my body with good stuff, not artificial junk.

So there you have it. Forgive, love, and empathize with yourself and the world around you. And good things will follow. Here's something pretty for your ear holes.

The Plan.

This week has been a sort of spiritual journey for me. I wouldn't consider myself religious, per se, but I am very spiritual. I believe... scratch that- I know that we are not alone. We are all here with purpose, and each thing in our lives is a gift. EACH thing, not just the good ones.
And here begins my story of this spiritual week: I was driving home from work recently. The clouds were grey and heavy and just one little spot in the sky was clear, and there the sun shone through like a spotlight. It was beautiful. I was feeling particularly in touch with the world at the moment. I had a friend in mind whom has been having a lot of problems lately. Problems that were not mine to fix. And I felt very, very helpless. Now I am a "fixer," and I always have been. So this sort of situation is incredibly frustrating for me. And for no apparent reason and despite the fact that I hadn't done it in a while- I said a quick prayer. "Please, God, please fix my friend." And without even a moment's hesitation came a reply to my mind: THAT IS WHAT I AM DOING. And my mind was filled with clarity. It all made sense. So I asked another favor, "Well then... please fix me." And again: THAT IS WHAT I AM DOING.

I know, I know. This whole thing makes me sound crazy. But I guess that's okay.

As I said earlier, I know that we are not alone. I am certain that there is a bigger plan. And knowing that information, I have no choice but to know that each event and each person in our lives is there for a purpose. Our trials, while they totally suck, are there for a reason. Sometimes the worst of our days are there to polish us for the upcoming best of our lives. When I think back on the best moments of my life, I know that the place in my life that I was in to receive them were a result of my surviving my worst moments. The strengths I have as a person are a result of overcoming the obstacles that I've encountered. I know that my friend needs these trials. And I know that I need mine- I need to feel this upset for my friend in order to grow. My trials are my emotional strength training. Every inch of whatever confidence I have in myself is a direct result of being able to look back on my life with pride in knowing where my strengths have won. And each time I come across a part of my life that is difficult, a part of me (a very pissed off part of me, I admit) looks on it with the knowledge that if I can get through it, I will come out better on the other side. And that's sort of encouraging.

Bad Days Gone Wild.

Lately I have been reading a book called "DailyOM: Inspirational Thoughts for a Happy, Healthy, and Fulfilling Day" (Madisyn Taylor). You can find the website by it's author by clicking here: http://www.dailyom.com/
Anybody who knows me knows my addiction for self-help books. I always feel like a bit of a geek for browsing through that section at the old B&N, but honestly I'm completely hooked. I think constantly improving yourself is such a HUGE deal because, as I always say, you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life and therefore should make that person the BEST they can be. I feel like the information is just so... applicable.
Anyways last night was one of those crazy nights where I opened the page and it felt like it grabbed my hand and said "Oh, this one is JUST for you." If you want to get right down to it I have been reading like 5 days worth of the "Daily Om" stuff each night because it's amazing, and last night's they were ALL pointing my direction.
One of them (because I don't want to go over all of them) was about having bad days. And yesterday was a really awful downright crappy day for me. I wont get into why, but I woke up yesterday morning completely miserable. After several conversations with friends of mine and a lot of junk food, I started to feel better. And at the end of the day, I prepared myself for not feeling that way again. I talked to my Mom, went to the movies with a friend, and went to the market for some groceries and Tylenol PM. Project: Feel Good was initiated.
And this morning I felt better. Much, much better. Almost like a load had been lifted off of my shoulders. And as I look back on my reading from last night, I realize why everything is better. Here is an excerpt from the book:

Bad days contribute to the people we become. Although we may feel discouraged and distressed, they can teach us patience and perseverance. It is important to remember that our attitude drives our destiny and that one negative experience does not have to be the beginning of an ongoing stroke of bad luck. A bad day is memorable because it is situated among many good ones; otherwise we would not even bother to acknowledge that it is bad.

I feel that it is important to learn from our bad days and terrible experiences. If we don't learn anything, what's the point? Yesterday I was exhausted. Physically, emotionally, mentally. I wasn't getting enough sleep and my mind was racing with thoughts about people in my life whom I couldn't help, which in turn was making my heart ache for them. But throughout the day I realized that if I was going to be HAPPY, it was up to me and only me. And so I made plans to get some sleep. And I cut ties with people who were draining on my emotions. And I enlisted a friend to spend some bonding time with me. I cleaned my room. And I read some of my book. And by the time I was ready to go to sleep, I felt refreshed. I felt like my life was a bit more tidy. A day that had started off crappy ended up pretty nice.

And that's the opportunity that bad days give you. You can take something that you feel bummed out on, recognise it, and turn it around. And hopefully not let it happen again, but if it DOES then you'll know what to do the next time. This is LIFE.

Heart Day.

Happy Cupid Day, ladies and gentlemen! I am extremely tired today, so I will cut right to the chase. Today is my first Single Valentine's Day in a few years, and I have to admit that I find it amusing. Especially as I talk to more and more single people and they all seem to be kind of... well, bitter about it. Since I was a kid, my favorite holiday has always been Valentine's Day.

 

I feel that my philosophy has become simply stated: LOVE. Love people. Love your surroundings. Love life. Just love. There is so much good in the world, if you choose to open your eyes to it. And in choosing my interactions with it all, I choose to love it dearly. Which is exactly why no matter if I am single or not- I adore this holiday. It further amuses me when I hear other single people complaining about being alone on Vday. Unless you live in an island in the middle of nowhere, you are never alone. What because I don't have a "beau" one day a year I'm a lonely Lucy? I don't think so. I have family to love, I have my pets, I have my wonderful and amazing friends. There will never be, in my life, a shortage of people to love. And I feel like that's the whole point. Not to get chocolates or jewelry or roses, but to get love and to give it in return. THAT'S the point of Valentines Day. Not things, but feelings. Not more stuff to put on your shelves but more stuff to put in your heart.

I know it all sounds a little mushy, but it's really true. And I guess if you can't get a little mushy on Valentine's Day, well when can you??