Image found here.
"So you attempt to hide your loneliness in public, to behave, in fact, as though you have too many friends already, and thus you hope to attract people who will unwittingly save you. But it never works that way. Your condition is written all over your face, in the hunch of your shoulders, in the hollowness of your laugh. You fool no one." - David MurosekI read this and realized that it hit a little too close to home. But... not in a bad way.
Which is sort of weird.
And I don't know why it made me think of it, but I somehow went to this thought of most people's main goal in life, as far as I've heard it.
What do you want in life?
...I want to be happy.
It's an awfully tall order, when you really think about it. Because have you ever really met anyone who was happy ALL of the time? I don't think I have. Even the people who I've found to be the happiest have often had moments of pretty deep sadness. And that's totally fine. And normal. That's life.
So I decided something: I don't want to be happy.
What do I want?
To be positive.
I want to stop considering the negative possibilities and start considering that good can (and will!) come from everything in my life. I don't need to pretend to be happy, or fake a smile when my heart isn't in it. But I do want to be sitting, in the midst of my completely normal bad day, with the outlook that I will walk away from it a better person, and that things will turn out alright in the end.
This is a huge challenge, at least for me. I dwell. A LOT. I over-analyze even more. I stress and I plan and I worry. And sometimes that can't be helped. But it's a comforting thought to know that my tendencies to be... well... me, are acceptable so long as I check myself out of them at a reasonable hour and remember that it's all going to be fine. I just need to remember to remain positive.
There's also this:
"It is our own mental attitude which makes the world what it is for us. Our thoughts make things beautiful, our thoughts make things ugly. The whole world is in our own minds. Learn to see things in the proper light."...and because of that, everything will be fine. Our problems are never the issue. The way we interpret and respond to our problems is the issue. We tend to be our biggest roadblock, which is almost humorously ironic considering that we are the ones in control of removing our problems from our lives, simply by looking at them in a different light.
So take your roadblocks- take your blustering mind- and make your life positive, even when it can't always be happy.
