I try not to post too many things pertaining to myself only, but I'm way too excited today. I just ordered this little number online and it should arrive next week. Expect to see a lot more photos on here soon!


Ingrid Michaelson.

I might even like this better than the original.



photo credit: unknown

I have this tendency to not think before I speak.
It gets me in a lot of trouble.
...But to keep in line with my January goals (as well as my general efforts to not be a jackass) I try to think about what I am saying and why I am saying it. The why is what I am emphasizing today.
There are two ways to live a life: proactively and reactively. A proactive life is one where you do and say things pre-emptively in order to guide yourself where you want to be. A proactive life is an intentional one. To live a reactive life is to base yourself on other people. What they think you should be, say, and do. You follow the leader, and you play a defensive-reactive position to the world around you. We are all guilty of it, sometimes.
Those times of living reactively have a tendency to spiral beyond our control. We are living by emotion rather than logic. And more often than not- we are basing our lives around a release of that emotion. It's like an itch that we scratch for relief, only to find that it now pains us more. This is because we are reacting, and therefore not focusing on the why of what we are doing or saying (aha, the point emerges!)
How often do you do or say something for yourself, rather than for somebody else? And I don't necessarily even mean that in an altruistic way. For example: a friend comes to you for advice. You give your take on it without hesitation. Think about that advice: was it for you or for them? I frequently find myself giving advice that is more for me to emphasize my character than it is to guide my friend in a time of need. It's like the age-old expression: Who are you trying to convince? I think this lines up with the times when we advise when we ought to just listen. Sometimes (and I'd venture to guess more often than not) the people we so graciously advise are simply seeking out a friendly ear to listen. I had a boyfriend once who would ask me whether I wanted him to advise or simply to listen- and that's something I at least try to emulate. I'm not very good at it, but I'm working towards getting better.
The same conscious action applies to what we do; our actions. Why are we doing the things we do? As I've gotten older, I have begun to question my attitudes and behaviors more and more. Why do I have the goals that I have? Why do I treat people the way that I do? So many things about us are instilled in us by a sort of social conditioning. This is normal. This is not. The older I get, the more I am seeing this truth. The old nurture vs. nature of it all. And there are definitely things that have been programmed into my psyche that I will never be able to change. But I'm trying to at least question the majority of my attitudes and beliefs to be certain that they are stemming from what I believe, rather than what I've been told to believe. And for the record: this applies to everything, not only religious beliefs as it may be coming across. Political standpoints, racial opinions... even the idea of what kind of employment is acceptable- these are all things that we have been programmed to feel a particular way about. Not necessarily bad or good, just particular. I have plenty of beliefs that I spent years battling, only to find in my late twenties I know to be accurate deep down in my soul. But I challenge you to question them just the same- to be sure that they are a part of you and not just a reaction to the norms you were raised with.
Live a why life.



photo credit: unknown

I talk a lot on here about comparing myself to, well... myself. It's like a little game I play; me now versus me five years ago, or ten years ago, or whatever. I guess that in a way, I'm keeping up with my 'stats.' Almost as if my life was some kind of sport and I want to gauge my progress. This is (I believe) a very good habit.
Today I came across a quote that said something along the lines of: are you happier than you were this time last year? What I loved about this was the simplicity of the question. Because the answers are always that simple. It didn't ask "what were you doing last year?" It didn't encourage you to dwell on your life 365 days ago. It simply asked if you were happy. And I'm a big fan of that kind of simplicity.
The way I see it, there is a very simple answer to that question, along with very basic follow-up. Almost like those charts you see when you read Cosmopolitan magazine or whatever you read. You know. The ones where you answer yes or no, and depending on your answer you follow an arrow to the next step?
Yes, I am happier ------> Good. Keep doing what your doing.
No, I'm am not happier -----> Do something different.
It's comical how easy that is. If you are doing amazingly well, good for you! Keep doing what you're doing. Make goals, grow as a person, further your development as a human being.
If you find that you were happier this time last year, bummer. However there's a silver lining to the equation: you've already been there. You know the recipe, you just have to tweak the ingredients with what you have on hand. Were you in great shape last year? Get off your butt! Were you excited about a trip? Plan another adventure! Whatever makes you happy- just get to it, no matter what. Gain that momentum and I'd bet my life on it, this time next year your answer to that question will inevitably be YES.


The Evolution of Friends.

photo credit: unknown

Last night I had a nice, long conversation with a good friend of mine about the progression of friendships. Our relationships are funny, and it takes some adjustment to begin to understand the evolution of them all.
My friend was disappointed that some of her friendships seemed to be changing. Between trying to be a good listener to her and trying to impart some wisdom, I came up with a few facts about life that I hope she felt were helpful.
For one thing, and the most important thing you will learn about your friendships in your early to mid twenties, people change. I assume we continue changing our whole lives, but our twenties in particular are a very turbulent time for us. We go to college, some get married and have babies, some start to develop Wanderlust and travel the world, and some people live in their parents basement. Everyone starts to develop their lives into what they want them to look like, and not everybody that we knew as high school BFFs is going to progress at the same rate or even the same direction as us. I know people who were cheerleaders in high school who are now complete hippies. I know people who graduated at the top of their class and are working for minimum wage now. I also know some people no one thought would make it and are now entrepreneurs making the "big bucks." It's amazing where life will take you. And a lot of the time, you lose that bond that you had with certain people. It isn't that you or they are doing anything wrong, you just don't have much in common anymore. And those friendships tend to still exist on the basis of loyalty and history- but you will notice that your converstions begin to lull. What input are you going to have on potty training when your life revolves around going out and doing the single's scene? Both lifestyles are just fine- but the two participants might not have a lot to talk about when their daily goings-on look so different.
Another truth is that it's important to realize and seek out what you deserve. When you're in high school, most people are so desperate for companionship that we will put up with just about anything to avoid being a "loner." We've all put up with behaviors from people that we knew, deep down, were unacceptable. But to avoid ditching out on our "group," we just dealt with it. I know I certainly did. And in all fairness, I'm sure I exercised such behaviors with other people too; mistreating them and them turning a blind eye. It's just the way it goes. But when you grow up, you begin to realize your self-worth, and you learn to accept nothing less. It's actually a really cool thing, but it can get lonely at times.
I emphasized to my friend how important it is to come to this realization. I, for one, spent far too many years looking the other way to avoid being lonely. But it's just crazy to think that for all that time, I was settling for bs friendships and relationships to avoid being alone. And that has been one of my biggest lessons of my twenties: never settle for people who treat you like crap. It may seem harmless at the time, what with the whole idea of "well at least I'm not hanging out by myself on a Friday night!"... but the more you accept people not giving you what you deserve, the more you start to assume you don't deserve much. It's a terrible cycle.
I wound up hitting a wall with this sort of thing recently- which was how I got to the place I'm at with it. At some point, you just say "Enough!" And it feels almost lazy, but I just drop the bullshit. If you're going to be a jerk, I just don't care to be around you. If I'm always the person calling you and you never make plans with me, I'm done. I am fully willing to invest myself in friendships and relationships where I feel reciprocated- but my friendship is not a one-woman show. My best friends, now, are people who call me to ask how my day is. We cook each other dinners and we genuinely invest ourselves in each other's problems, solving them as a team because we care about one another. If there is a problem, we talk about it. Because as I told my friend last night: if you have a real desire to keep someone in your life, you will want to address and resolve any issues with them. It's not pleasant to do so- but it's an investment. I am willing to work through hard times with you because you're important to me and our friendship is worth it. And quite frankly, you should never settle for anyone in your life who isn't willing to put in the work. If this is like, the fifth time they've let you down... just walk away.
I, myself, try to do the "ditch effort" approach. I will try until I've had enough. Then, I will talk to you about it. Then I will give it one last ditch effort, and if nothing changes I just accept that person as they are and realize that perhaps we are not compatible. I don't see the point in making a big scene- I just let it fall where it will. I've done my part, and as long as I give something my best effort I can be satisfied with that.


The Snare of Compare.

photo credit: unknown

I wanted to address something I was discussing with a friend of mine the other day. We were talking about blogs, and she confessed that she had made a resolution not to read any more personal blogspots because she had noticed that more often than not, they made her feel a bit down on herself. It seems, to me, that this is a common thing with the online networking community. Upon hearing my friend's resolution, I recited a quote at her:
The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else's highlight reel.
-Steven Furtick.
How true that we constantly feel inadequate compared to other people. And here are these people, meaning well because... well... who wants to hear someone drone on about their problems? But because we are only hearing the good stuff, we forget that this is only a portion of this person's life. There are sad days, happy days, and everything in between.
I try to be as realistic as possible on here, and I want to emphasize that I am nowhere close to perfecting most of the stuff I discuss on here. This blog is as much an outlet for me as it is a reminder to myself to be the person that I write about on here. I have days when I embarrass myself, delve too much into other people's business (see: gossip), lose my temper at the expense of someone else, and spend more money than I have. I talk a lot about self-discovery on here because I am trying to get there myself, just as much as the next person. But I'm not there yet. 
And as for Facebook, blogspots, and Twitter (which I still have zero desire to get involved with)... it's important to realize that the majority of the pictures people post on there are not real real. I touch up most of my photos, or else take pictures with Instagram (which somehow makes me look better... soft lighting??). I have another friend who went on a tropical vacation and posted her photos on Facebook. I immediately commented on how totally amazing she looked, to which she replied honestly, "I completely edited that!" How refreshing!
We don't post the pictures of us on our fat days, or when our hair refuses to behave, or where we have bags under our eyes from too many late nights. Online is not real. Not, you know, real real, anyways.
This is stuff everybody knows, but I think we forget it sometimes. So stop being so hard on yourself. And don't compare your life to anyone else's too much. Everyone has their battles and imperfections. Remember that and just be grateful for what you've got!



A thing that has always interested me is the attraction people have to other people's words. I am the world's biggest fan. We'll read a quote by someone, or song lyrics... and cling to it as something we really connect with. I'm fascinated by that need for someone else to point out some truth that we always knew but could never quite verbalize. I, myself, collect quotes by famous philosophers and poets. And where most people hear a good melody or beat in a song- I hear its lyrics. 

I think that some of this goes to a need that many of us have to live poetically. And what is poetry, exactly, but the need for purpose in our lives? We are deeply feeling individuals, and there is a strong drive to find meaning to those feelings. Anger, love, resentment, hurt, adoration, mysticism... we want a sense of purpose to tie them to. "Why do I feel this way?" "What should I do with this emotion?" and most importantly, "Is this normal?"

We want a sense of belonging, and the ability to define the storm of emotions inside us. I hold fast to a theory that not even the most seemingly detached person is emotionless. I think that they just have a different way of portraying their feelings than the rest of us. As a matter of fact, some of the the most "hard" people that I know are the ones who feel the most deeply, but simply keep it confined to themselves. Take a psychology class and then watch the actions of such an individual, and you'll know what I'm talking about.

But we all want it to mean something, and the poetry in a song lyric or a beautiful phrased sentence gives our confused minds some hope of manifesting that. To be totally honest, I'm not sure what my point is here. I guess I just think it's all sort of interesting. I think the whole idea of "finding oneself" is just such an interesting concept, not that this is news to anyone who reads this blog. Connecting to who you are at your core is probably the most "real" thing I think a person can do. You're with yourself for the entirety of your "being," and I think that being able to understand who you are is a wildly important thing. Also, then, isn't it interesting how we tend to rely on other people's definition of an emotion to understand our own?
Just a thought.
photo credit: unknown



Sleep to dream.

Sleep. It pretty much runs our lives- yet most people don't get enough of it. Some of the statistics on the Center for Disease control and Prevention website are pretty astounding. 50-70 million Americans (adults) have a sleep disorder. Lack of sleep can result in depression, hypertension, diabetes, obesity, Cancer, and more. The average adult needs 7-9 hours of sleep per night, while children need 10-11 and teens 9.5-10.5 hours. I blame this for my constant napping throughout high school!!
Anyways, I could sit here an throw statistics at you all day long, but the fact remains that plenty of us aren't getting enough sleep. The remainder of my "piece" on this is based not on authoritative websites but on a vast array of information I have mentally noted through years of reading pretty much every sleep deprivation article I could get my hands on.
It's my understanding that sleep is a time of healing. Your body is going, going, going ALL day long and the 8 hours (give or take) of rest time is when your brain takes a breather enough to recharge for tomorrow. This is also when your body heals itself of whatever ailments that it can, as well as rehydrates itself from the seventeen thousand cups of coffee you had that day. It's like putting yourself back on the charging dock so that your battery is back to 100%. In layman's terms: You need to sleep. Like, seriously.
There are a ton of reasons people don't get enough sleep. Mine has always been turning off my brain at night. I can't do it. Insert joke about my brain being turned off all day: here. I have a tendancy to sit there and stew over events that went poorly in my recent and even not so recent past, financial problems I forsee, excitement about whatever event is happening within the next 6 months... the list goes ridiculously on and on. Oh, and I've tried everything. I know this is going to make me sound downright awful but I've done the whole Nyquil thing, Unisom, Melatonin- you name it. The only thing I even slightly recommend is Melatonin or Chamomille tea. I wont take anything else unless I am seriously desparate. A lot of those sleep aids are habit-forming and even if they're considered "safe," I don't feel like anything that dishes out a case of dependancy can be all that good for you.
I think that what it all comes down to is lifestyle. The times when my sleep has been good have always been when my mind is still, my muscles have been used, and my body is relaxed. So what it comes down to is: how do I get THERE? I've had problems sleeping for as long as I can remember, and this is what works for me (or what I recommend). Some people have much more serious problems, however, and should seek professional help beyond my magazine-reading suggestions.
1. Exercise. I do yoga. Been doing it for over 15 years. There's something serene and relaxing about stretching yourself out and getting your blood flowing. You can do more strenuous activity (which I totally recommend) but it's generally better if you do it more than 3 hours before you plan to go to sleep. Your body is a machine, and if you aren't tired by bedtime then it's my unprofessional opinion that you're probably not working yourself hard enough during the day. Even those gym-goers may have different needs than other people. If you're doing an hour of cardio and still not tired by midnight- do more! It's also important to exercise your brain. If your mind is running all night, you're probably not exhausting yourself enough during the day. Challenge yourself. Learn something new. The reason children and teens need more sleep is that they're maxing out their brain capacity with expanding knowledge all day. If you're not tired, you're probably not challenging yourself enough!
2. Get rid of your day. I shower almost immediately when I get home from work. I'm a huge supporter of hydrotherapy and I think there's a certain symbolism to washing your day away from you. If I can't shower, or if I have to go straight from work to something else- I at least wash my face and put my hair up away from my neck. It really refreshes you.
3. Meditate. This is a new one for me. Call it hokey, call it whatever you want- but meditation has been dubbed as extremely beneficial by a gazillion researchers. You learn to still your mind in the midst of commotion. Life is always, always, always going to be hectic. It's not in learning to avoid dillema that we find calm- it's in finding a way to sit peacefully with it that we will be able to move forward. Besides, I've said it a hundred times, a great majority of life's problems will solve themselves if you give them the opportunity to.
4. Have a routine. This is a huge one for me. I try to go to bed at the same time every night. I also eat an early dinner so that I have time to wash dishes and wind down prior to sleeping. Late, hectic nights are pretty much the enemy of sleep. Get up at the same time every day- even on weekends. I've tried to do the sleep in late thing and I always kick myself for it.
5. Kick Fido and Conan out of your room. You don't need anything else keeping you awake. If your pet sleeps pretty soundly, he can stay. For myself-I generally end up kicking Newps out within an hour of trying to sleep because she insists on bathing herself at midnight and that whole licking noise is like nails on a chalkboard for me. Gross. Same goes for the television... if it helps you sleep, go for it. Most researchers will tell you to keep it to the living room, though.
So that's it. Sorry if this post is boring, but it's seriously important to get enough sleep. I can always tell a huge difference in my day when I've been having one too many sleepless nights. As a final note: don't beat yourself up too badly if you don't get a great night sleep. Psyching yourself out an additional night over last night's lack of sleep is obviously unwise. Just get back into the groove of things and you'll be fine.


A Price for Greatness.

There's an old saying that has been around, well, since I can remember. There are about a hundred variations of it, but the one I like best goes, "nothing worth having was ever achieved without effort." Or, you know, something like that.
And it's had me thinking for the past few days about effort. How much do we expect to put into something? How much is too much? And most relevant to today's blog entry: do we honestly, really, expect to put in real work when we want something? I think not. At least for me. I am learning something about myself lately and that is that most days I have a tendency to wake up in the morning and expect my day to be easy. I will wake up on time, get to work, have a low-key kinda day, not hit any traffic on the way home, come home to a spotless house and make a delicious meal that I will absolutely not ruin even though I've never made it before, and curl up in a little ball with some hot tea and read a book with my cat at my feet and the dog patiently spooned to my belly. I literally expect that, every single day.
Here is, however, what really happens more often than not: I wake up to my cat essentially sitting on my face. I had no idea I have slight allergies to her until I am literally inhaling her belly hair and my eyes are welling up and watering *Ah-Choo!* I hit the snooze button on the phone alarm that I desperately need to update since the song now just makes me wake up angry for being played out (however I haven't changed it in 6 months anyway), but Newps has vetoed my decision and decided that I ought to have fed her already. I get up and meander over to the closet where her food is kept, feed the beast, and open my blinds in an effort to tell my brain to get with the program. Bathroom- straighten only the front part of my hair and put the rest up because I am too lazy/uninteresting/running late to actually make myself look presentable today. Stare in the mirror and wonder when my hair is going to look healthy again after the brutal beating I put it through last year. I brush and floss my teeth, spray myself in the face with a Vitamin C spray that I'm hoping will help me look less tired, and wander into my room to pick out something to wear. Look at the clock and wonder how it just took me ten minutes to get my ass out of bed. Get dressed, debating whether to wear Ugg boots again or step it up a notch with heels. Decide on heels to make up for my Ragtop hairdo. Messy=Undone in the fashion world, thankyouverymuch, Pinterest. Make lunch and Chai Tea, drive to work. Work. Eat lunch at my computer. Get a call from a customer who clearly doesn't understand the concept that men and women are equals. Count the minutes until 415 and leave as the clock turns to it. Drive home, singing along with my radio and dodging glances from people who catch me in the act. Pride myself on the fact that I know all the words to Bust a Move, then realize that I am the whitest person I know. Get home and have an attack of OCD which causes the very first thing I do when I arrive to be tidying up stuff that isn't even a big deal. Take a short shower and make dinner. Try a new recipe, completely biffing it and having to scoop carrots out because I added them at the wrong time. Eat. Dog proceeds to jump on me throughout the entirety of my arrival and meal. Try to snuggle with her on the couch but every time the cat goes through the dog door she jumps off the couch to investigate. Roommate comes home, we chat, I go to bed while watching a documentary that gives me nightmares about the dangers of eating Tyson Chicken. Welcome to my life.
All self-mocking aside, I wonder what life would be like if I started expecting it to be as it is. What if we woke up every morning with the expectation that today will not be easy? Today, dear self, is going to be an uphill battle. And rather than be frustrated that things are, you know, what they are- we prepare ourselves for that imperfection and steady our ground. I don't mean to say that we should be pessimists, only that we be realists and be aware that a day will almost certainly bring challenges along with its gifts. And, as I have mentioned several times, challenges are a good thing. They make us stronger. Rather than ignore their existence, I think it's wise to look out for them on the horizon with a tucked chin and a smile. "Oh hello, I thought I might find you here. Bring it on!"
Don't expect it to be easy. Because your life should be great, and I hear nothing ever really great came without working for it.


Face Friends.

I think that the whole online social media networking thing is so funny some times. But at the same time, sort of important in this modern age when life has gotten so busy that the best way to keep in touch with people like my friends and family outside of California is to Facebook them. Funny how that has become the new thing. I have, in recent months, tried to limit my connections with people on Facebook because a lot of these online friendships aren't real. I stand by that belief. If I don't talk to you, or if we haven't spoken in months, I am probably going to delete you since we're not really friends anyway. I just don't see the point. This is, of course, with the exception of the absurdly stylish girls I know who I completely stalk their outfits so that I will be inspired to get off my lazy arse and throw on something besides jeans and a hoodie. I know, I know. But it's been SO cold outside!!!
Anyways, I have people that have legitimately gotten upset with me for deleting them from my Facebook, to which I reply "Then call me some time, friend." I've deleted old boyfriends with whom I no longer speak because I feel that once you break up with someone you have no business in their lives unless you've maintained a good friendship with them in the first place. It seems so simple like that, at least to me.
So today, my list is short, and that's totally fine with me. I don't need to have 900 Facebook friends to prove to myself that I'm a likeable person. And the people that I have on there are people who I admire, and who inspire me. If all of your posts are depressing or strangely vague about "I don't, like, get people some times..." your comments are probably blocked from my page. I still adore you, but if your life is that difficult and we are that close- I have probably found out about it from your voice and not an online message board. I don't need my friendships to turn into guessing games about your emotions. Talk to me, and I will try my best to listen (see New Years Resolution #1!!)
Side note: I also find it hilarious when people do the "I'm deleting 5,000 people from my Facebook. If you're still here tomorrow, we're friends!" Uhh... for one: Is that really how we're determining friendships these days? And two: if they have to be told that they're your friend rather than notice that you don't talk anymore, well... I mean come on, man.
Having said that- I want to take a moment to talk about the people in my life. I wont pretend that I talk to everyone I know on a daily, or even monthly basis. But I try. I attempt to check in with people every so often and am known to send people a message or card out of the blue to let you know I'm thinking about you. Because it's a common occurrence for me to just randomly stop in my tracks and think, "I wonder how so-and-so is doing?"
I don't have a history of surrounding myself with the best people. Trust me. I could tell you some stories about friendships that would rock even You as a listener. I have a tendency to trust too quickly and care too much about people who don't reciprocate. But in recent years I have been making an effort to erase (see: delete) those kinds of people from my life. And I have to say that the results have been amazing. And recently when I was looking on my Facebook page and through some of my friends, I realized just how lucky I am. I know some pretty amazing and interesting people. Each person on that list is someone who has been inspirational to me. I guarantee that I can tell you at least 3 things about each one of them that I admire and respect. It's pretty cool. I have people who are world travellers, amazing parents, brilliant artists, and funnier than I could ever dream to be. Looking through this list really reminds me how completely and utterly lucky I am to have had the chance to be exposed to the people that I know. This world and the people in it are pretty incredible. I highly recommend that you take a look through your friends and consider how amazing they are. It's a very humbling process, to bow your head to the fact that you not only chose them- but that they chose you. You- and I'm talking to YOU- are great. I like you.


Life Tides.

I know I talk about this one a lot, but I just can't emphasize enough that the single most important thing in life (in my humble opinion) is to remember that it's all about balance.
Life carries a certain ebb and flow to it that's easy to forget. Whether things are great or they're miserable- it's easy to think that it will be that way forever. I, for one, find myself getting caught up in some sort of false finality of the current moment. Almost as if each moment will last forever and whether for better or for worse, my mind tells me "this is it!" Good fortune, heartbreak, loss, great ecstasy... no matter the occasion it can feel as if it's your final destination. But it really never is. There will always be a next moment, for better or for worse, up until your final moment on Earth. And even that is up for debate.
Life comes in waves. It's good, it's great, it's crummy, it's great again. No one knows what tomorrow will bring and rarely can one even predict it. It's never until you look back on a moment that you truly understand it's place in the great cycle within your story.
I've got a friend who is in a low point of her story. She has been discussing with me some of her problems and the frustrations that come along with it. More specifically, it's about a boy. Isn't it always?? And this girl has been in an ebb with said boy for some time now, and continues to expose herself to emotionally damaging situations because... well because of why girls (and boys?) do this all the time. Fear. Even if it hurts her, even if he has a tendency to make her positively miserable, at least the situation is familiar. She knows him, she knows this territory. And there is that fear of the unknown where it's almost as if she begins to believe that it's better to stay in a damaging situation than to venture out into the unknown where there are unfamiliar dangers waiting. And we all do this same thing. We stay with the familiar for fear of the unknown. Because it's easy, and in a weird way- somehow safe to us.
We forget that life has a flow out there. We forget that even if this moment totally sucks, the next moment could be great. And so we hide. We get caught up in the sadness of the moment, and disregard the obvious fact that tomorrow will almost certainly be better. We over analyze and overreact and stress out that the ebb is permanent.
There is, of course, the opposite side of the coin as well. Today might be spectacular. We might come upon some money, grand adventure, or meet someone who we think might change our lives. And that elated feeling rushes through us like a shot of adrenaline. This is a good thing- remember these moments. They will come in handy when the bad days pass through.
Whatever you feel today, remember that it is only today, and that tomorrow will be different. Remember, during moments where you feel down, that tomorrow will bring another moment of joy. Also remember that tomorrow might be less stellar and so you ought to appreciate today. Don't be afraid that tomorrow will bring something different- because whether you focus on the fear or not, tomorrow will bring whatever it wants. Move forward into it. Bravely, with your chin up and your mind sharp. If something makes you feel good- relish it. If something makes you feel bad- leave it. It's as simple as that. Don't stay in a bad place because you're afraid of moving forward. Don't get down on yourself because today sucked. Remember that you've had good times and you've had bad times, and they have always- without fail- moved forward into something else. Move forward with them.
In closing, here is a little (unrelated) musical treat, introduction to which is courtesy of my musical soul mate: