Common Ground.

I hadn't posted anything except other people's stuff lately. I guess I just haven't had much to say. Not in that I am depressed, only quite the opposite. I think most of my "inspirational" posts tend to be gathered around times in my life when things have been more difficult somehow. Kind of like how I've always secretly felt like the world's best writers have always been alcoholics or madmen... I guess the less than stellar parts of our lives tend to inspire us towards writing it all down. I don't know.

Anyways, in the grand tradition of my divulging more information than I need to (I'm a pro at this), let me fill you in on something. Yesterday I got in an argument. Nothing major. Not in the least. Two people, with two different backgrounds and two different upbringings, will always think differently. I used to be terrified of arguing with people. Like, nailed to the floor covering my eyes petrified. The more I grow up the more I know that disagreements are one of the best things to happen to two people. It means several things. One: You are challenging one another... perhaps even pushing each other's limits and helping the other person grow in ways they might not have had you never entangled. Two: You're being honest. I know that if I get my way all the time, or if no one ever tells me they disagree with me- there is a good chance they are simply appeasing me. They're hiding their own desires and putting mine above it all. Which is a lovely thought in theory but I want to know that the people I surround myself with are strong people with original thoughts and ideas. I want to know that it is together that we work to make our lives rich- and not just by playing follow the leader.

I say this a lot, but disagreements are really just opportunities. Chances to see things in a different light. It is only through fighting FAIR that this is possible. And it is only through a process of swallowing your pride that resolution can be found. I remember the days of proving my point. The days of one person being "right" and the other, by default, being "wrong." And maybe I'm just getting tired, or lazy, or downright old. But those days are far behind me. I have zero interest (after the initial burst of irritability in an argument) in being right. I have no interest in being a sole survivor in the race against my own pride. I want, in any fight be it with friends or boyfriends or family, to be at peace. I don't feel peaceful in my corner alone. I don't even feel much satisfaction in being "right." I feel happiest when we can all find a common ground. When I can admit the parts of my behavior that might have been less than great and they can admit the parts of theirs. And we can laugh it off and move forward knowing that we have just had a successful disagreement. It's a nice feeling.

No comments: