Good Guys.

So does anyone else have those moments when you're about 90% positive that there are hidden cameras capturing your life? Lately I have been 92% sure that Thought Catalog is watching my life and sending me links to articles that apply. It's crazy. Or, you know, maybe I'm the crazy one... which is semi-likely.

photo credit: unknown
Stephanie Georgopulos posted a piece HERE, and it was trended this morning so obviously I read it. It's like she's in my head. See the following: 

I do not want to fix someone. I’m too busy working on myself. I wouldn’t want to date someone who isn’t doing the same, who doesn’t see the value in growth. I’m not here to hold someone’s hand while they learn how to grow up. I’m not a pre-school teacher; I’m not a therapist. A man is not an art project to be cut up into little pieces and glued back together. You’re your own fixer-upper, honey; do with that what you will.
I want to be with someone who respects me, someone who I can respect. I do not want to tote around some unruly asshole, a discount handbag that looks impressive on the outside but is really falling apart at the seams. This would be a reflection of my own bad taste and insecurity, dating some mess of a person who doesn’t use the words, ‘Please’ and ‘Thank You,’ someone who has no consideration for other people. I don’t want to introduce that person to my friends, or to my family – who all happen to be Good People who have a low tolerance for assholes.
I don’t want to date someone indifferent to themselves or to me. Is it an oddity that I don’t want to be treated like crap? I do not have time to hopelessly await someone’s phone call; I do not have time to place heaps of unwarranted blame on myself when someone or something seemingly ‘disappears.’ I don’t have the time to jump through hoops to prove that I am worthy of someone’s affections, and even if I did have the time? That’s not how I would spend it.
No, I want a Good Guy – someone who is a good person before I date him, while I date him, and after I date him. Someone who is capable of letting go of whatever Grave Injustices were done to him, who doesn’t blame the world for his misfortunes. Someone who respects himself, who wants to be with someone who will treat him the way he deserves to be treated. Someone who is nice but not a doormat, someone who is confident but not an asshole. Someone who gets to date a Good Person by being one, not by appealing to a girl’s desire to ‘fix’ their self-perpetuated damage.
This is exactly how I feel. And honestly- how I think all women should feel. As I've said before: no one is your responsibility to "fix." I say this not only about boyfriends/partners, but about friends, co-workers, and family as well. I have no interest in taking on someone else's problems and trying to correct them. I struggle with this concept, because I DO want a better life for the people I care about. But I also realize that it's not my job to make that happen. I just really, really loved this article today. I wanted to share it with any ladies out there who may have needed to read this. 

1 comment:

Rachel said...

This is so perfect.