Words With Friends.

Coffee makes for some pretty profound conversations.

Today's topics: The One That Got Away and Doing Something About Your Problems.

C:  I think that over time, I gained perspective about "the one that got away" but I don't think she is the one... she just came close to getting that title 

 me:  Exactly.

I don't have any one that got away. If they're away, there's a reason. Nobody leaves your life who wants to stay, in my opinion.

And why would I miss someone who didn't want to be in my life, ya know?

 C:  that's profound

I read something a while ago about memory and missing someone...

 C:  it basically said that any two people who spend quality time together start depending on the other person for little things... like "you are good at making sandwiches, and I'm good at fixing the TV" or remembering details...

 C:  eventually both person have a collective memory, but when they break up, there is this empty left... and it is tough to pinpoint

like knowing something is missing, but not remembering what it is.

 me:  Well I read a lot of self-help books, and I read something like that as well. But the perspective was like, "Don't create a situation where you can't do things for yourself- don't trade off you do this and I'll do that..." which, I get. I think it's good to be self-sufficient. However, there's a beauty in being a team with somebody. I love cooking for a man, or having him drive and open doors for me. There's something perfect about caring about another person that much. Can I do it alone? Of course I can. I would never encourage anyone to abandon, like, being capable of driving a car and having their spouse do it to the point where you forget how- on anything. It's just learning to let life BE. Yeah, sometimes shit doesn't work out. And you can be sad about it. But be realistic, too. Sometimes things end. And you can't beat yourself up about it. Just look back, miss it if you must. Love it ABSOLUTELY. Be grateful. And then move on.

 me:  I think one of the biggest factors of heartbreak is the fact that people try to avoid it like the plague. It's okay to be disappointed and miss someone. People think it isn't. It's that part where you try to lie to yourself and say "That was the worst thing ever" that is tough. You're lying to yourself EVERY DAY. That hurts your heart more than any outside person ever could.

 C:  The most disappointing thing I learned about love, is that you can't kill it

 me:  Eh, but I don't think you should.

 C:  You can burn it in  heaps, hide it, shove it in the closet, run it over, bury it, but it's easier just to remember it kindly and move on

 me:  My most frustrating thing has been the in-between time. Where one minute you're with someone and you're allowed to love them, and then you're not with them and you're supposed to let go. And that time in between when you're SUPPOSED TO let go and when you DO... that part is a drag.

AND

me: I can't sympathize with people who play the martyr card. "Why is my life so shitty??" but they're not willing to do anything to fix it.

Like- I didn't like my job. So what did I do? I got off my ass and found a new one. It is literally almost always THAT easy.