Be You.

This past week has been filled with conversations that I really needed to have. I'd been lost on here for a while and that analytical side of me was MIA, which isn't terrible but not great when you're a writer.
I had a discussion today regarding writing, but from another person. My friend is a writer who has a sort of writer's block, which I can relate to. Sometimes we as writers lose our voice, and that can be incredibly frustrating. We were talking about how we have these "voices," or basically literary facades, that we use to present our stories to the world. Writers often do this for anonymity and self-preservation. I realized, though I already knew it, that I use this writing mask more often than not. I can't think of how many times I haven't been able to find the courage to tell someone my thoughts, only to write it down later. I have the words, but for some reason hiding behind a computer makes it easier for me to let down my guard and admit that I care, or that I'm afraid, or that I'm upset. Writing is the only way I think I can allow myself to be fully vulnerable.

I got to thinking about it this evening, this whole facade thing, and began to wonder why we do it. And it isn't just writers. It's Bloggers, Facebookers, Twitterers, even Instagrammers. We have this entire generation hiding behind our screens. We post updates, in our Voices, about the lives we want to be perceived to have. We post pictures of the amazing meals we're eating and the cute thing our boyfriend/girlfriend did for us. And then we hide and fumble over what to say when faced with actual people. We are an entire generation who has spent so much time reaching out to the world, looking for love and recognition in mediums we never thought possible, and yet more unable to find it than ever. And that's because we're not being REAL. It's easy to "like" someone when they're at their most edited selves. And we know that. So when things aren't filtered in Walden, it can become unnerving to open up and let people see your picture in a real-life hue. So we don't. We hide and we treat our world like a ventriloquist act, throwing our voices to a propped doll so people don't see that we're off stage in our tattered pajamas.

Being our real selves is one of the scariest things in the world. Mainly because if we give our all and present 100% authenticity, and people hate it, we have nothing to hide behind. Few things are more intimidating than saying "This is me," and having another person say, "You aren't enough." I think that's why I am so passionate about finding a place of clarity in myself. If I know who I am, and I can become the person that I know I am satisfied with at the end of the day, no one else's opinion really matters. You're never going to please everybody, and that is a fact. And even the people who love you the most in the world aren't always going to agree with or even like you. And that's okay. If you know yourself, and know the person you want to be, then you know that being the person SOMEONE ELSE wants you to be is silly and nonsensical.

Do we need to spill our deepest, darkest secrets to everybody? No. Keep a part of you for yourself, and spare hurt feelings if you have disagreeable emotions on a topic. But don't ever hide your plan for yourself, and don't ever stop trying to figure out who you want to be. That changes every day- every single day. It's emotional evolution and that's healthy. But allow people to see you. Be honest. Desire the best for not only the people in your world but for yourself, too. No manipulation, no games. No "this is who I want people to think I am." This is your life, not an audition for someone else's.

Be you.

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