(Warning: This video has essentially nothing to do with this post and will
send you into a 90's music whirlwind, should you succumb to its catchiness)
I often find myself getting frustrated trying to explain the way I see the world because it's not... well, normal. In a lot of ways, that's a really good thing. But it makes me seem sort of batshit crazy when I try to explain how my negative feelings tend to turn into something that I actually find constructive.
For example: if you follow my blog, you know that one of my biggest hurdles in life is overcoming jealousy. Not in a crazy "Who was that on the phone?" kind of way. But in this sort of like, "Ugh, why is that person's life soooooo perfect?" way. I think that, especially in this edited world, it's far too easy to see someone's highlight-reel Facebook feed and think that your mediocrity doesn't size up. I mean, lets get really real here and talk about how some of my closest friends are taking selfies in New York, or cutest-offspring-ever pics, and I'm over here like, "Look at my cat playing with twist-ties!!" I took a SnapChat of my cat listening to the soundtrack from The Aristocats last week. I wish I were joking.
And so, people-who-are-now-afraid-of-me, now you see why I find it so easy to take issue with people who are... I don't know... NOT taking SnapChats of their cats (SnapCats? It should be a thing).
Having said that- I have never, in my life, been a person who felt compelled to do (or not do) something because someone said I should. "What's that Mom? DON'T try Tequilla? Oh, okay. I'll get right on that." No. Not my jam. It takes a lot of nudging, and failing, and at times straight boredom to motivate me to do things that I probably could have just taken the advisory for and done right the first time around.
THIS is why jealousy is my biggest challenge, and also my greatest ally. It sucks to see someone doing things that I wish I were doing. I feel like a complete troll when I feel envious of someone for being pretty, or smart, or successful. But then I realize, in true comedic form, that my inner monologue sounds like a complete joke. "How dare that person be doing things with their life! How dare they get up early and blow-dry their hair and look awesome while my roots are growing in and I'm wearing flip flops to work! How dare they travel and have adventures while I sit here helplessly at my desk!" Um... hey, self, why don't you just DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE? Get up early, do your hair, plan a vacation, buy real shoes...
That's the simplest solution. Do you want to do something? How about you just, like, do it?
This is why jealousy is fantastic. It's really just admiration with a splash of laziness, which can be discarded and ignored to allow for motivation to chime in. I realize that some things are out of reach in the jealousy department. There's not enough self-motivation in the world to give me an ass like Gisele Bundchen. But if jealousy gives me the motivation to work toward my best version of myself, thanks for the inspiration- impossibly beautiful alien/model lady.
Life is 100% what we make of it. I of all people know how easy it is to get caught up in petty insecurities and trivial short-comings. But I also know that sometimes, you have to take a good look in the mirror and see how limitless the possibilities are if you only allow them to take root and thrive.
In completely related/unrelated news: if you're into SnapChats of ridiculous things, find me under Meganmccrindle.