The waiting is the hardest part

Where on Earth is my doctor?!? Grr... Im sorry, just getting anxious to hear back on my biopsy results. As it turns out I am not a very patient person. They told me last Tuesday that it would take three days to get my results, but now they are saying it takes 5-7 business days to get them. Im really hoping they call me today. Im also hoping they say "Oh- all we need to do is give you a Green Caramel Apple sucker and the tumor goes away!!"... but I guess I don't always get what I want. I am not looking forward to any of the things they have to do to cure me, but I am anxious to get them finished. Once this is all over I am doing something to celebrate. I can't wait to be able to walk up my stairs without losing my breath because there simply isn't enough room in my chest for my lungs to expand. I cant wait to be cold without my chest hurting because my body has tensed up and is now constricting my tumor and therefore pressing it against my ribs. I cant wait to take a yoga class. I cant wait to be able to get a full night's rest. I cant wait to not be so stressed out that I clench my jaw at night and wake up not being able to talk. People don't realize the effects that one part of your body going wrong has on the rest of it. I have had chronic headaches from this for probably the past 3 months. My neck feels like I constantly need to crack it but can't. I can't sit for long periods of time without my back killing me- which is difficult at my job. I went to the Dentist yesterday and was anxious to sit in the chair because it felt good on my back. Who the heck WANTS to sit in the Dentist chair?? Im quite sure my liver is effed from all the painkillers I've put into it the past 6 months. All in all- I am very anxious to be done with this whole thing. Perhaps I will throw my tumor a going away party once I figure out how we are getting rid of it... or maybe if I throw it one it will get the hint and get lost on it's own!
Anyways. Sorry to vent, but cross your fingers that my doctor calls me today!

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