Well today is my last post on here for a while. At least until I can sit at a computer again which I'm thinking may be quite some time.
I am grateful today for something peculiar. I'm glad that I am not, by nature, a very emotional person. It seems like everyone I talk to is more upset about my surgery than I am. I've just been very cavalier about the whole thing. As far as I can see it- it is what it is and when it happens I will worry or be scared or whatever. But for now I am just very calm and prepared. I imagine when I am sitting in my hospital gurney I will have some very worried thoughts, etc., etc.... but for now I feel like my biggest worry is them putting the IV in my hand again. Past that I will have a gas mask put on and I will be out like a light for the entire surgery. I guess some days in recovery will be harder than others. Sometimes I will not get my pain medication taken in time and I will be in a lot of pain. Apparently they have to give you a special pillow to hold to your chest so that when you cough you don't burst your stitches or something- I'm guessing that will suck. But it just doesn't make any logical sense to me to sit here worrying about it NOW. I will worry about it when it's an issue.
It also amazes me how many people have sent well wishes or offered to come and visit. People I haven't spoken to in years have called me... friends whose lives are just insane have asked when they can visit me in the hospital. I have a feeling the male doctors are going to have a field day with the amount of cute young girls who will come by my room to see me. Should be interesting! My sister is flying from Colorado to stay with me for a week to help my mom take care of me, which is just amazing. I've got Kenneth who will stay with me at the hospital as often as his school schedule will allow. I've been fortunate enough to find this awesome girl, Amber, on the Internet. She is about my age and had a Sternotomy last year so she has been coaching me through what to expect and how to prepare. I would not be anywhere NEAR as calm and ready as I am without her.
So anyways- I have to get everything finished up here at work for my little "vacation" and I can't write out some long memoir. But to anyone who knows me and is reading this: thank you for everything. I am so lucky to have every one of you in my life and I'm not sure where I would be without each of your influence and guidance. I'm sure this will all play out according to plan and I will be fine. But on the off chance that anything should happen I want to emphasize how lucky I am and how blessed I have been to be who I am, where I am, and with whom each moment of my life has been spent with. Lots of love and I will talk to you all when this is over.