4. More upset upon realizing you can't bargain
6. "How about this."Initially we reject anything we find undesirable in our lives. We feel that if it wasn't our idea and it doesn't fit our "ideals," we want no part in it. This is followed by a general Upset over the situation. We get angry, frustrated, etc. We fight it and try to argue why it should not be. In some cases, this may work. But when it does not, we switch into bargaining mode. "Okay, life. If you're going to be like that, I'm going to do this." Or, "I will allow this action, pending that I react this way. And my reaction is completely acceptable because of your action." To be quite frank, this is a pretty dumb thing to do. Because even if the compromise is made, you have to believe it is a fair trade. You have to believe it 100% or else you will feel begrudging over the issue. Most of the time, even when a compromise is made it isn't held up for this reason. Forced compromise rarely is. Which obviously leads to my step 4- more upset at failure.
The next step takes you into a different approach. Acceptance. We accept that not everything in our lives is going to go our way. And here is where my "how about this" approach steps in. I tend to look at scenarios like this as unavoidable. Life hands you crap some times and you just have to take it. Or a scenario you expected to play out as such, simply does not. So you factor in the how about this. Which for me goes: How about this- you're going to do what you want. I can not control that. How about you do that thing, and I just exist the best that I can. How about that? I find this approach particularly effective when dealing with difficult people in my life, as opposed to scenarios. How about YOU be difficult. And how about I just do my thing, be happy, and continue to aim towards being the best ME that I can be. How about that? Because no one wins by being an angry person, or spiteful, or jealous. No one wins by consuming themselves with another person's silly actions over their own. I can control ONE thing in this world: myself. So how about I focus on controlling that, as opposed to controlling anything or anyone else? How about that?
When someone pisses you off, or makes you sad- try shutting their actions out completely. Instead, simply focus on yourself and no matter what that person is doing to upset you just work on making YOU a better, more awesome, more fun person. If someone seems to intend on jeopardizing your happiness, work on finding it yourself rather than looking to someone else to give it to you.
If you want to be happy, be. How about this?