Mums the Word.

Yesterday was my Mom's birthday. I wont reveal her age, so lets just say that she's 45. A thing that I think is funny about Moms in general is that many of us spend so much of our lives aiming to be unlike them, but at the end of the day we end up a lot more alike than we even realize. Growing up my mom and I went through some rough stuff. I was, initially, her Baby. The youngest of 5 kids and really the epitome of sweet and innocent. I was always an oddball and somewhat socially awkward, so I didn't really go through the rebellious snobby adolescent phase... at least not until much later than most girls. So my Mom and I were close for a long, long time. It wasn't until I was in my late teens that I really started to question my relationship with my mother or her authority over me. And as with most of the things in my life- I had to check it out for myself. And I did. My mom and I grew massively apart and I behaved in some ways that to this day I cringe at. It wasn't until my mid-twenties that we finally became close again. I don't want to delve too much past that for several reasons: one being respect and another being that I don't want to bore you. My point here is that I think this is a common thread in women with their mothers. Both of my sisters have had their share of ups and downs with my mom. I suspect it's common with other people too. Isn't it funny how that whole equation works? I don't know if it's the same way with men and their fathers, but it's strange to me that the people who give us the most- more than anyone else in our lives- become the person we least want to emulate. Not forever, but in some people it goes much further past adolescence. And isn't it funny how often we run into ourselves years down the line and realize we have become our parent's children? There are qualities in my mother that I don't want to inherit, to be sure. But there are those same qualities in any person I have or would ever meet. I think that a lot of it is just people pushing so hard against something that they inadvertently become it- it consumes them. My mom also has about a bazillion qualities that I pray I can acquire, and I hope that happens for me. Her kindness and her silliness, for starters. My mom also has a sensitivity about her, a tenderness... she is very much a mother in that sense. She wants everybody to be happy, even if it means she might not be. Her fears and upsets are kept to herself, as to not burden anyone else with them. My mom is also very independent (which I am CERTAIN I inherited from her), and I can't think of many times that she will ask for help on something even if she needs it. Above everything, above EVERYTHING, here is a woman who loves her family. Family is everything to my Mother, and to me that is one of the most beautiful things to witness. I never had parents who were negligent of my needs, substantially or emotionally. Her babies have always taken first priority in her life. Its amazing how many people in today's world aren't blessed with that gift. And I sometimes forget to bask in gratefulness for the fact that my mother is this way. These are all qualities that I hope I can acquire.

In a world full of people to become your heroes... sometimes it's important to remember that you were already born of one.