So today is going to be a day of seriously opening up to you. Prep yo'selves.
I started seeing a therapist, again, recently. I saw a family therapist when I was a kid because, well, I was not a very good little monster and my parents wanted help. At the time, I think I held a grudge against them for it. But now... now I think it was quite possibly the bravest thing they could have done. Therapy is asking for help. It's admitting that you're not perfect and that you can't fix things by yourself. Rather than being stubborn and arrogant and thinking you have all the answers (ps- you DON'T), you're admitting that you could really use a little assistance. We honestly could all use a little help some days. I wont judge people who think therapy isn't for them. But for me- I live in a world where I need to rely on my own gut and instincts to survive it. And if I feel like my mind isn't doing such a hot job of making good choices, asking for a personal trainer to get my mind to pique performance is a good idea. So I made an appointment. So far, so good.
I also want to share my journey with you because it will most likely be a big part of my life from here on out. I'm not embarrassed to be working on myself, and I think that opening up about it will really help anyone else out there who feels anything like the way I feel.
This week I learned a few things in my appointment. For starters, I learned that I have some problems with co-dependency. That was the main thing we discussed this session. I already knew that, so it wasn't groundbreaking in the sense that I had an "aha" moment. But I did learn some things that I can do to help work on it. My therapist gave me a book to read as well as a group I can go to if I feel like it. Kinda cool that they have a group for co-dependant people. A little ironic, but it seems like sharing your trials and how you've solved them might not be a terrible idea. I'm willing to check it out. There's also a pretty cool website that you can go to called meetup.com where you can make friends who share the same interests as you. Thought that was cool too. I have a lot of people in my life who I am dependant on and who aren't great influences on me, so it will be good to branch out to find new people who might have similar goals to mine, that way I can have more positive influences and work towards doing things that are good for me (my goals usually are) while not isolating myself. My therapist says that it's good that I find the things that I like to do, but it's important not to isolate myself because then I will be lonely and latch onto the wrong people again simply out of loneliness. Makes sense, I suppose.
Anyways, I'm excited to start this journey. There are a lot of things that I have realized about myself even in the past week or two, and it's all been sorta empowering. I'm learning what things I like and more importantly what it means to say "no" to people and activities that I don't need in my life. I've always been a pretty open person, so if anyone has questions or anything about this stuff, please feel free to ask me on here in a comment or send me an email. It's my hope that my being open and honest about this stuff will help anyone who struggles with self-esteem or the like as well. We're all imperfect. But (more importantly) we're all worth fixing.