2.18.2011

New Days.

Today I woke up feeling a little bit sad again. I don't know what the deal is, maybe I am still drained. I feel like some of my choices lately haven't been my best. And that's always upsetting. I had some goals that I meant to accomplish this month and I haven't been working on them at all. And I've noticed a certain arrogance about me lately that makes me feel sort of ugly inside. This is not the person I want to be. Not at all. So I want to go over a few things here. And hopefully it will help me collect my thoughts and therein- myself.
First of all, I want to address forgiveness. In the past few weeks I have noticed a pattern of me not being very forgiving of people. Not in personal offenses, but more of me not being very empathetic to them. There are certain people in my life who I have been very judgemental of, and it needs to stop. I think that in my mission towards enlightening my own life, I have started to forget that we are ALL imperfect. I know that I certainly am. I caught myself today realizing this and when someone I worked with had messed up, I saw two directions I could take. I could stay in my routine of saying "ugh, what an IDIOT. So-and-so really needs to get it together." OR, I could stop and realize that this person is probably having a rough day. And I should empathize with that. What would you call that? The Angel's Advocate? I'm not sure.
And while I'm at that one, I really need to go easier on myself too. I say and do stupid things ALL the time. And I fall short of my goals. And I make all manner of mistakes in general. And honestly, that's okay. I am imperfect. But the best part of messing up is that in an instant- it can be yesterday's news. We as humans have the ability to take our bad choices and completely drop them instantly. Oh sure, we want to save face about it. And if and when those things have become public, it's easy to wallow in our embarrassment. But the way I see it, why sit in your mistakes? No one else is nearly as focused on YOU as you probably are. You'd be surprised how little everyone is watching you, honestly. I know that may be harsh because our egos want us to believe that everybody is secretly focused on our little lives, but they are all much too busy with their own mistakes to bother themselves with yours. I promise. So I think it's important to forgive yourself for your screw ups. Even to let yourself know, "Hey, you're having a tough time. I understand. Lets just do better tomorrow, okay?"
So speaking of messing up, my February goals have been a pretty big fail for me. And I was kind of beating myself up about it. But you know, maybe I'm just not ready for them yet. I did yoga a little bit, and Id like to continue to work on that one. But I haven't done it 3 times per week for sure. And I have only written in my journal like twice. The other stuff I'm doing okay on, but not as well as Id like. So rather than be upset about my failures, I think I'm just going to readjust my sails. It's a little over halfway through the month, but since I accomplished about half of my goals, I'll take that. I'm going to edit my yoga goal. Do MORE yoga, but focus on stretching and meditation. I can do more stretching every day. Even at work. And I need to focus inward a bit more, hence the meditation. I'm going to eat MORE veggies, but not give myself a set number per day. That's not practical. I do alright on my vegetable intake as it is. As for the journal thing, I'm taking it off the list. I write plenty on here anyways. Instead- I'm adding a new goal. Kindness. And empathy. Id like to do a service act at some point this month, and so far I'm already offering free babysitting to my brother and his wife so they can go out on a date. I'm looking into food shelters and beach cleanups. I miss my beach cleanups. A really great site for ideas can be found here, if you're interested:
http://www.randomactsofkindness.org/Kindness-Ideas.html. And I need to work on doing little things, every day, to show compassion for the people around me. I need to shake off the things that bother me about people and stop being so judgemental. In other news I AM going to San Fransisco next weekend, so that goal is a go. As for the water, juice, and tea... I'm doing good there. I think I'm going to eliminate sodas from my diet this next few weeks. They're unnecessary. I need to fill my body with good stuff, not artificial junk.

So there you have it. Forgive, love, and empathize with yourself and the world around you. And good things will follow. Here's something pretty for your ear holes.


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