2.17.2011

The Plan.

This week has been a sort of spiritual journey for me. I wouldn't consider myself religious, per se, but I am very spiritual. I believe... scratch that- I know that we are not alone. We are all here with purpose, and each thing in our lives is a gift. EACH thing, not just the good ones.
And here begins my story of this spiritual week: I was driving home from work recently. The clouds were grey and heavy and just one little spot in the sky was clear, and there the sun shone through like a spotlight. It was beautiful. I was feeling particularly in touch with the world at the moment. I had a friend in mind whom has been having a lot of problems lately. Problems that were not mine to fix. And I felt very, very helpless. Now I am a "fixer," and I always have been. So this sort of situation is incredibly frustrating for me. And for no apparent reason and despite the fact that I hadn't done it in a while- I said a quick prayer. "Please, God, please fix my friend." And without even a moment's hesitation came a reply to my mind: THAT IS WHAT I AM DOING. And my mind was filled with clarity. It all made sense. So I asked another favor, "Well then... please fix me." And again: THAT IS WHAT I AM DOING.

I know, I know. This whole thing makes me sound crazy. But I guess that's okay.

As I said earlier, I know that we are not alone. I am certain that there is a bigger plan. And knowing that information, I have no choice but to know that each event and each person in our lives is there for a purpose. Our trials, while they totally suck, are there for a reason. Sometimes the worst of our days are there to polish us for the upcoming best of our lives. When I think back on the best moments of my life, I know that the place in my life that I was in to receive them were a result of my surviving my worst moments. The strengths I have as a person are a result of overcoming the obstacles that I've encountered. I know that my friend needs these trials. And I know that I need mine- I need to feel this upset for my friend in order to grow. My trials are my emotional strength training. Every inch of whatever confidence I have in myself is a direct result of being able to look back on my life with pride in knowing where my strengths have won. And each time I come across a part of my life that is difficult, a part of me (a very pissed off part of me, I admit) looks on it with the knowledge that if I can get through it, I will come out better on the other side. And that's sort of encouraging.

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